Wednesday, August 18, 2004

"We are advertis'd by our loving friends. " ~~ William Shakespeare
"Why do they do the things they do?"~~ David Francey

Christ, it wasn't supposed to be this hard. It is 12:56am and I have just said goodbye to Al, Chantelle (Telly) and Cross. I have known Cross & Al since kindergarten and grade 7, respectively, and it was a hard face I took upon to say good bye to them both, the same face I took with Todd and Cadrin. Dace and Kelly too, all these people mean so much to me. Will I know them well when I am an old man?

I was warmed by the presence of my brother on this windy Tuesday night, his goodbye delayed by a few days and a few stories, and of course by Megan, who only cried when Chantelle started. Damn girls. I bit my toungue with Al, Cross, Luie, and Cadrin, goodbyes landing with lumps in my throat. Our paths may have differed in recent years, but life keeps you all close to me.

And it didn't help when I talked with my Uncle Ken and Aunt Marie, Uncle Dale too, who all wished me good luck. An email from Aunt Syl touched hard on the soul. It is only a year, maybe two, and I am suffering as I say good bye to those who matter. I worry about unforeseen illnesses taking them from me.

We all know deep inside that what truly matters cannot be defined by money and power; instead it is friends, family, and poetry that paints our souls in times when we feel most alone. I wandered this summer through a cemetery, eventually standing alone in front of grandparent's tombstones, contemplating the existential view of life. Our lives are so defined by who we were, are, in times of need. My friends, my family, calls close in such times, and for that, I am thankful, rested.

To my friends, I do miss you and I wish we didn't have to graduate from our respective sandboxes. Didn't it seem so much easier when moms and dads took care of it all, before mortgages and far-flung jobs made it so tough to stay in touch? Naming names is too tough, so know instead that I care for you and that my thoughts for you are strong.

To the families, I will miss your support, your love. Savour your own peace of mind, when this busy world gives you time. I keep you in my thoughts, always.

Megan, I cannot write about you now, except to say that my love for you is stronger than ever. Sunrises pale when compared to you. And I am nothing but sorry.

And so, in advance, this is the goodbye post. We always end up hurting the ones we love and life takes us down tough roads. I will walk away from you all without turning back, because it is too tough for you to see the tears upon my cheeks. I am walking away now, know that beneath my tough and bitter exterior, my grudges, I do care. So take care, I don't want any bad phone calls.

Two poems.

Standing, Respectfully

Shadowed from the fading western sun
By the maiden name
An old man and his wife
Content with their promise of forever

A quiet end, a quiet place
In their adopted city
Far from the old country
Tucked among blooming spring trees

Having seen both of the great wars
And man ascend the heavens
The old mans time finally did come
The infinites of time grasped his withered body

And a grandson removes his hat, respectfully
Having sought out this moment
He stands, unsure

Thoughts of history and specks of time
And fading color memories
Dance out of melody

And as he turns to leave, hat in hand
He glances into the silence of the spring trees
The blooming spring trees

and two,

A Solitary Stroll

I am in love with this early spring day
Fifty-three degrees of northern latitude

The clouds are hanging heavy, low
In a gray, rolling sky, it could be November
Snow, just a trace, covers the packed brown grass
As the leaves have fallen from their illustrious
Irreverent perch

There is a weak breeze blowing from the north
Rustling a few leaves into a brief flight

I have spent years of my life
On this very field
It is so silent, not how I remember
As I stroll where the hockey rink used to be

I'll be leaving soon
And I don't know when, if, I'll be back

My feet shuffle slowly
As if I am scared to step away from these old memories
It's all so familiar, despite the passing years
And it won't blow cold from the north next October

And I know, suddenly, this is the last time I will walk here
I kneel down, dampening my knees
And I touch the ground
One last solitary time.

A sovereign thought, delivered to your door at 1:56 AM ~~ 0 bonsai trees

shout out out out out out

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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Pictures from the going away party. Thanks to everyone for coming out, you will be missed. And I will post a final blog before I fly fly away. I love you Megan.

A sovereign thought, delivered to your door at 4:57 PM ~~ 0 bonsai trees

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Everyone #1

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How did this Brazillian guy get into the the party?

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Everyone #2

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"How I mock you Sun!"

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"No Marc, I won't help you hit on that Ukrainian guy."

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"I never knew you came the Ukraine! Huh, the things you learn over beers."

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Posed conversation picture to get Megan to leave us alone.

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"Luie, both Marc and I think you are looking gooood tonight."

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Note the psycho rose saleslady in the lower left. No I won't pay $5 for a rose, now leave me alone!!!

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The game is afoot, dear Watson!

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What a trooper!

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The chase quickens...

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Gwen is nice. Jeff is not.

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Thank god Chantelle was drunk by now....

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Lindsay picking up a bar star, Luie moving in for the kill...

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Kathy picking up one of the bar stars that came out.

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Lloyd and Harry

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What a sexy bunch, even the cripple looks good.

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Who looks more sober?

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I just like this picture.

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Mr. GQ. Heyyyy ladeeeeezzz

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"I'm about to hit the wall very hard."

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Aw, young love...

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"So Jeff, you say you are in a boy band, huh?"

A sovereign thought, delivered to your door at 4:31 PM ~~ 0 bonsai trees

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"This guy here, this is the guy..."

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This guy is a class act. Smooth.

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I'm starting to worry about the beer supply. And that wallaby over there looks evil.

A sovereign thought, delivered to your door at 4:29 PM ~~ 0 bonsai trees

shout out out out out out

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Sunday, August 15, 2004

"Friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it." ~~ Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC)

Well it was a jolly good show last night at the beloved Atlantic Trapp & Gill, as I had many a friend swing by with a kind word and easy smile. I was really touched that everyone made an effort to come out and I was glad to see all those friendly faces. I'm not always the most sociable or happy-go-lucky pal you may have, but I do value the friends that I have.

Thanks to Lindsay and Ryan, as well as Breanne and Jeff, for driving all the way from Calgary to see me off. It meant a lot to have you guys there and I appreciated it.

To Luie, Kathy, Marc, Candace, Cadrin, Al, Chantelle (and maybe Lindsay and Ryan??) thanks for the Tilley hat, the Lonely Planet Guide, and the travel journal. I was not expecting anything and was floored. I will put all the gifts to good use, especially the hat which will save my poor little ears from evil Mr. Sun.

Also nice to see Michael, Meredith, and Marjorie, some 'new' old friends. Good luck to them in another school year.

And finally, thanks to my folks and Jeff (and Gwen) who all showed up. I know I'll see you before I go again, but it was nice nonetheless.

And so, the goodbyes are starting to number fewer and fewer, although the biggest and toughest one still looms ahead. But I had a great time last night, woke up feeling just fine, and was surprised by my rather cheap bill at the end of the night. Either the waitress screwed up or some folks put some money on it for me. If you did pony up some cash on my account, thanks.

I will be posting pictures soon, so tune back in. For now, I'm signing off. Thanks all.

A sovereign thought, delivered to your door at 6:11 PM ~~ 0 bonsai trees

shout out out out out out

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